you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
