i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
