she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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