are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
