You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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