Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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