honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Life is so much better after having sex.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
