Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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