when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
