how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
