Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
