eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
