Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
soo... how was my night?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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