dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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