I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
