Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
