Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i just sent this text using only my big toe
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
