addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
