After last night, I could never be a politician.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
