like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
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