just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
