i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
