just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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