tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
