Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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