he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
