I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
If I die, sorry about rent.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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