my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
