he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
