every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
