well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
