White coat. Heels.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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