sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
