Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We are two peas in an std pod
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
