No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I touched a dick in church today
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
