yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
