So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
