Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
