Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
