yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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