also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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