im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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