Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
