My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
