how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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