Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
