then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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