dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You are the jesus of drinking
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
