stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
