You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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