party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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