Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
