i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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