I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
