last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
