Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
