it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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